Just a Dream
by Joelcoxriley
Summary: Jealousy and envy are two sins Baldwin knows well. They are always there, constantly reminding him that she was a dream. She was always a dream. As was the child they would never have. Slight Baldwin/Arella (OC).


**Hi! Just something quick I wrote. Not one of the original one shots I was going to write, but the idea came to me last night.  
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**Thank you for checking this out and I hope you enjoy.**

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Jealousy, and envy.

These were two sins that Baldwin knew well. For how could he not, when all those around him were unaffected by such a disease? Why were hundreds of people spared this disease, this curse of God? Why all, but not him?

Perhaps Baldwin should view his disease, his leperosy, as both a blessing, and a curse.

A curse, for having his body be slowly eaten away, and devolve into that of a walking corpse.

Yet, a blessing, for while his flesh was frail and weakening, his mind was sharp, and aware.

For his young age, the Leper King was quite wise beyond his years, and displayed such a trait in both philosophical thought, political maneuvers, and strategic battle plans quite fiercely.

For when one had nothing to lose, everything was all they could give.

Yes, Baldwin knew well his limitations, and his own faults.

He knew where his jealousy and envy stemmed.

It stemmed from a young man, of which Baldwin did not know his name.

He never asked Arella.

He did not dare, for the Leper dreaded her response should her tone be laced with affection for the other.

Whenever the King would happen to spy the merchant's daughter, the young man would almost always be by her side.

Her protector.

Her chaperone.

For a woman left unescorted, was quite vulnerable to deprived vultures.

Yes, her protector, her chaperone, was almost always there by her side.

Almost, always, save for when the man would accompany Arella to visit the Leper, and then take his leave.

Baldwin knew his sins intimately. And he could recognize the same sins in others, just as well. While the King and the young man never spoke, he saw the jaded look in his gaze.

How funny, it was, for a man so spared from disease be jealous of the Leper. For what did Baldwin have for the protector to be envious of?

It was only in these brief glances that the two men interacted.

Always before, and after, the Leper and the Angel's meetings, however brief.

They were meetings Baldwin looked forward to, and enjoyed. They were simple, innocent arranged meetings more often than not revolved around various teachings and studies. It was times where the Leper taught the young woman how to read, and how to write. Where the Leper taught her history, and philosophy, and the various stages of government-if however brief and light. Where the Leper taught her how to speak Arabic-if only the basics.

Topics that Baldwin often found interest, and passion in, as if he were a young boy again, being taught and drinking in the knowledge for the first time.

While Arella did not understand all of the topics-nor would she ever begin to understand-the young blonde listened intently, and earnestly, for she quite liked listening to the Leper's soft and gentle voice.

And if he enjoyed speaking and teaching these topics, why would she not let him?

Indeed, Arella quite enjoyed these meetings, if only because it meant she could spend more time with Jerusalem's ruler.

Indeed, Baldwin quite enjoyed these meetings that diverged from everyday duties and policies, if only because it meant he could spend more time with the merchant's daughter. At times, the Leper chose to continue on with the teachings and lessons despite having spells of weakness or fever, hiding the true extent of his illness from her. Because Baldwin knew that these times he cherished so would not last. Baldwin did not know which of their meetings would be their last.

Baldwin knew this.

Arella did, as well.

It was a silent, unspoken fact that both tried to ignore.

It was a thought Baldwin did not want to think about.

That, and the protector.

Several times, did Baldwin almost raise his voice to ask, but found the lump within his throat too large for him to properly speak.

Were they courting?

Were they...did she...?

But they were only half thoughts.

Half questions.

Because Baldwin supposed Arella's answers didn't matter. He was not long for this world, not as long as he would like.

What they had...what they might have become...was just a dream, and nothing more.

A foolish, young man's dream.

A dream of his hand holding hers.

Of his lips upon hers.

Of his arms embraced around her.

Of their hands joined in wedlock.

Of his child cradled in her womb.

Yes, a foolish, young man's dream.

Because that was all they were.

Baldwin couldn't understand why the protector gazed upon him with such a jaded sight.

He could still live his dreams, whilst the ruler could not.

Perhaps in another life, another time, he could.

But now, sitting across from Arella, only half listening to the soft trickling of her voice as she attempted to read a children's tale, Baldwin found himself dreaming once more.

Dreaming of the child they would never have, being tucked into bed as the gentle melody of his mother's voice lulls him to sleep.


End file.
